Well after years of hemming and hawing I bought something brand spanking new. I'm REALLY funny about buying 'new things'. Typically I find it's best to wait a while and get something used, even if it costs almost the same or so - but something that everyone is raving about the quality of, rather than gambling constantly on expensive newer things and learn that the planned obsolescence of them is also exceptionally consistent (as in they all tend to break down precisely after xyz miles or years in precisely the same ways).
ANYHOW, I've been limping along with a mid-90's Nikon Coolpix point and shoot... and last year I got a pretty fancy (used) Sony camera (a "bridge DSLR" and no I don't really understand all that that means enough to concisely explain it - haha!). That needed this and that part, only purchasable from Sony. And now it needs an internal battery or servicing (they are vague) that again can only be done BY Sony... and I say "pteh" in disgust in Sony's general direction and move on. I've used my fiance's Samsung point and shoot here and there too. The Coolpix is still functional but the plastic casing is really falling off. I want to save it for 'emergencies' when I'm just down and out and must take a pic of a sale's item but for some reason can't with others.
But I've known for a while that I really need a camera (as a sculptor? duh?) with a better depth of field anti-distortion ability... a real camera in other words.
Anyhow, so I got another Nikon (nothing major, a D3000 which is major enough for me to be honest!). A detachable lens camera for grown ups that I'm really too childish and impatient to use but I'm trying.. a friend with a very similar one is patiently trying to explain to me all these things. I wish she and I could get together so she could show me (I'm a visual/hands on learner type)... but alas, I have to read manuals and self-help photography stuff. ;)
Well so I did get some pictures out. The colors are funny still. There's this white balance issue that I need to learn to deal with. Everyone likes to chant "your lighting might not be strong enough" but I promise you, if I lit up the studio horses any more they might melt, the lighting is there and very strong. :) My coolpix had the most awesome feature that allowed for some really nice effects - "slow flash". I have never seen this on another camera before or since. The flash went off, and the click seemed to happen ages later but it really wasn't - it probably opened the aperture during the flash a nominal amount and opened more fully in the milliseconds after wards. Today I took a photo where the apeture apparently was open for like 30 seconds. Fiddling with the F-stop option areas. Please, don't ask me - ok - it's really pathetic how clueless I am about this considering how I need to take photos of my work to keep the lights on. I've taken classes and read a LOT. It's just something about camera terms that really turns me off.
In fact in my former corporate life I used to get to work with some photographers and I was just utterly excited & fascinated by what they did. I would ask all kinds of questions. I've had some exceptionally amazing professionals teach me about light metering and such. It's mortifying and I feel just so disrespectful that I didn't absorb any of it unfortunately.
BUT here are some pictures I like that I can share for now... the painted horses here were shared on my studio Facebook page which is available to the public. I have more photos of painted horses but right now they are only being shared with my yahoogroup - sorry. Still, this is a fun few eh? :)
And then this guy;
...he is pluggin along well enough. Every day I visit him here and there but mostly I've been painting. In a way I think that's made my progress on him faster. I come in and go "oh ICK I don't like that [sawsawsaw]" and then go away while the apoxie sculpt sets and return that night or the next day and say "hmmm, yeah that works but now I see the problem over here"...
Clay IS faster for 80% of the work maybe still but I just LOVE how marble smooth I can get the apoxie and veining details (and how FAST the end work goes) and yadda yadda... I'm just such an Apoxie Sculpt fan I guess. Plus everyone warns me that yes you can bang out that horse shape pretty quick in the clay sure but then when you're working with the waste mold casting of it you will invest crazy amounts of time in addressing air bubbles every time you smooth this or that too.
I'm not sure. I want to try wax clays actually as they seem like they'd be a little less lumpy. In the meantime, well.. just picking like this is a blast (and I don't have to worry about temperature controlled storage to do finer details - it gets warm in there). ;)
So well there ya go. Fun things underway and I need to get back to it. Gearing up for Breyerfest's Artisan's Gallery over here and plugging along. It's officially 1 month away! (for me - I'm only going for the Fri/Sat vending, not NAN or the other events really). Gotta get back to it now. :)
I was so surprised at how many folks wrote about my last post & said it was helpful.. so it occurred to me today that maybe this will be of interest to someone too?
It's pretty much what it looks like, but I find it really helpful to have around when I'm painting. I was also able to make note when I made it how long some paints took to dry over others... I could've noted that down too but I didn't. I put my paint try on this dish drainer too so this way I can just grab easier by the order I see on the palette. What I like most about it is seeing how transparent some colors are over others. I use quite a few transparent oxides as well, but there's a great degree of transparency variation in the paints that are in theory 'opaque'.
Anyhow, so there ya go. Hope it's helpful to someone else! :)
Well the paints and sculpting tools are pretty much unpacked. Aaaand I'm making up for lost time now! :) I've been sculpting a lot as well but more "progress" can be shown here with 3 new horses I've airbrushed basecoats onto... (flat feet eek!) ;)
Actually, to be honest, in part I'm airbrushing like mad first and foremost because I want to get a feel for my new airbrush and working in a somewhat different sort of space (technically the same amount of room but no shelves and well, basically it's a little less room).. Anyhow, airbrushing with my new Christmas (birthday?) gift Iawata HP Plus airbrush- without risk of harm to others. ;) Which lead me to thinking about former horses I've painted up basecoats with an airbrush first in the past... my old badger finally clogged and I gave up on that notion for a while. However here are some fun 'before' and 'after' photos
Before; .... and after; Seriously!! That's the same guy in both pics.. clearly I changed my mind a tad about the color.. ;) In this pic he's a bit less washed out and maaaaybe you can see how the oil layers look over the airbrushing a bit more realistically? Tx to Nikki for this 'after' pic to compare here. & There's a pic of him here too from NAN that's taken with flash (I think) but it's less washed out than mine.. I like to think of him as a 'horse of a different color'..he really did look different in different places more so than most.
My fear is that some dayglo colors I come up with will appear in some lighting. I struggle with this. I want my layers to build in such a way that light passes through some of the oil paint and hits pigments below to impart a sheen look - but at the same time not have some glaring color beneath glow in some lighting that has near x-ray effects! :) No but seriously.. I have a couple horses I won't sell even though they sometimes win.. because the coats underneath are marred and the oils over top are thin & transparent enough in some show halls that well; their figurative & literal 'slips are showing through!'.
So here are some others that I happen to have taken pics of in their raw nekkid airbrushed ness... Sarah Minkiewicz-Breunig's sculpture "Otto" before; and then after; Tx to Jackie for those 'after' pix! :)
I don't have many other before/after pics.. even though I've used airbrushing before and after a lot. USUALLY when I've got a new horse and want it to have a presentable coat for a show sooner rather than later... because up until last spring my airbrush and I were not getting along very well. I did however struggle and do up this gal for a quickie picture session, before adding oils. Before; and then after; So you can see here that I made a real effort in this case to paint the horse as close to my final coloration in airbrush first, and then do the oil layers afterwards allllmost the same color (except I chose to back up and go redder. I like the effect in real life.. the slightly darker coat underneath sort of mimics real horse skin more. (ok, well I could be kidding myself :-P but I like to think it does?) But backing up to lighter shades is a matter of very very minor degrees...
Anyhow, so that's where I'm going with the 4 horses I showed at first. Here there are below (hoping to be done in time for Breyerfest's Artisian Gallery)... individually with a few thoughts..
I personally just adore this coloration..that warmblood/drafty type dappling around the thinner skinned areas! All the same, several layers of oils should balance it out and make it, I dunno how to explain,"bloom" more? We'll see.. I've painted a few like this before and people were confused as to what I used to paint them (especially that undappled bay Hazel above - she was airbrush, 2-3 coats of oils... and then maaaybe some black charcoal/pastel dust in a few spots like ear points - just to save time). This dapply girl will probably be wrapped up mostly that way, probably w/o the pastel highlights since I have the time to do the black oils (they take forever to dry) on her points. :)
This too is another airbrush basecoat. I'm actually finding that hand painting dapples is almost as fast. Thing is it's not as good/fast at getting the shading. So I wanted to get the shading down first, and then go in and blend it out. This is the grainest of them, I'm anxious to see if I can blend it out enough.. as I want to add in some fleabite details that have people looking closely at her. I've got one commission horse left that I'm doing a similar paint job on.. he's better off than she is.. but better to refine the technique on my own resin & not her's I say. :)
This gal actually was shown as a prop 'extra' for some scenes at the last New England show I went to. She was mostly hand painted but her blending was done with an aibrush & some hasty pencil roaning... just to try it out. I might even erase those to be honest and get the underlayer smoother as well before adding roaning hairs over it.
And this gal outside getting a 'color check'! That's my fiance's hand, not mine. I have big man hands but not that manly. I guess they don't look so bad here but I feel the need to clarify that. Neurotic much Morgen? ;) Anyhow, I am aiming for flaxen chestnut, but I feel I may have gone into the realm of liver already... we'll see I guess. Hrmm... The mane/tail are just lightly painted beige for the time being..
And with all that, more horses need to be painted TOO as well as a sculpture to sculpt. So I'd better get back to that. 7 weeks.. I can do it.. I can I can..
I just thought I should take a sec to explain the whole evolution from my painting desk at least. I know some artists work like me and get their acrylic base coats pretty close to their final colors - no matter what media they work in... and other artists prefer to have a single color base coat to work off of. So this is just me, trying to make myself work smarter. All of the airbrushed basecoats I've done still resulted in very smooth horses that seem to be very well received. So I'm making a real effort to focus on what works bestest for me. :)
Sorry to be so quite over here this year & hope all is well with folks out there!
Soooooooo I thought to myself last night, wouldn't it be fun to have a new horse AND a new medallion to bring to Breyerfest?
As if I don't have enough to do in the next two months but well, it seems do-able if I really put my nose to the grindstone.
This little guy with 2hrs or so into him thus far is the donkey "Gleep" who (you might remember?) passed through my ownership for a year and now lives with friends who have the perfect set up for him. Anyhow, I'm sorta floating around about what kind of background is most appropriate for a treat-pout face there. He's gonna be on the hairy side too, I'm just starting with him here. ;)
Cactus? Hay? Rocks? A big ole star??? :D
And here's the status quo on my other fellow. :) And I REALLY should get off the computer now. Neighbor's kid brought over a grape Nehi but really just wanted to play with the dog here. Back to keeping an eye on that.. ;) Yeah... just heard a crash - eek! Ciao!
PS - I ****SWEAR**** to you this is not my version of babysitting.. HONEST! ;)
Still haven't unpacked a good deal of the studio though! :D
It's been a matter mostly of picking at projects to see where and how to arrange things. Overall there's a little less room because I've moved my desk & books from the living room into the painting room.. on the PLUS side of that, I can now skip printing out references at times. There are 2 smaller rooms (whereas before I had 1 for both painting and sculpting AND threw some packing peanuts & boxes into the mix to make it all static-y!). I haven't decided where/how I'll be packing much in here - thus far it's been roll with it and see what works.
I have a "studio" dog too as of yesterday. She's taken to following me around and laying at my feet. When I'm doing something she's not allowed to partake in (like cooking) she's decided that laying over by my computer chair is best. ;)
Anyhow, so I really just wanted to post a few quick pics of this guy. I primered him last week to see where he's at. There's some "schlerm" and odd areas where I still need to build up - TONS to smooth out.. and then I get to dive into the detailing. The horse to his right is a Candidus by Ann Harris - a somewhat large traditional (accurate I think though to 1:9 because he is a WB stallion)... anyhow, just to give some perspective on this boy's scale as a pony sized (14hh) traditional scale himself). The bit of the bust off to the left is an old project that hasn't gone anywhere in a while.. Probably would cost a ton to get cast as it's fairly large so for now his mane has been serving as my spare epoxie depository. ;)
New studio dog candid.. I have more (of both actually) but well right now uploading is a little slow and gave me errors a few times... Her name is Butterbean, she came from the shelter with this name.. it's very southern apparently (and no, I don't believe I've ever had a butterbean actually!). I'm sure I will soon now.. Lessee.. she was a Humane Society shelter dog, she came from a high-kill shelter to the local one - we decided to go with the place that vetted and spay/neutered themselves & pay the higher fee. Because we are all for that sort of thing and for a variety of reasons. There are stray dogs ALL over the place down here. Who knows, we might get another eventually (or soon even) but right now 1 is plenty while we're getting settled.
She's pretty laid back and adaptable. She really is thrilled to have her own possessions. My fiance Oakes took off her collar last night (she came with it) to scratch her neck. She proceeded to take the collar with her into her crate. She was a little disappointed when I took it out (she wasn't chewing on it).. so I had to put it back on her as a compromise. Sincerely, she's a hoarder. I've seen hoarder dogs, they're pretty funny. At least she seems very good about the house breaking and crate stuff so far. She likes her little cave and secure places where she can see us (and have her toys she brings with her). I'll be keeping an eye on territoriality of course too. So far so good about socializations. No issue with me taking yummy bones away and giving back - or interfering while she tries to eat (actually to put more food in the tiny bowl we have here).
But mostly? I just love the sound of a dog chewin away on it's bones while I work and having 'play breaks' in my workday too! :D
And with that... it's time to get back to work here (ok, well after lunch & another play break!) ... ;)
Well it’s 90 degrees in the studio (only 80 outside) with 40% humidity (which fortunately is ‘dry’ - it would stink if it was also more humid inside than outside!!)… the air conditioner is at the ready in the window and sadly in the next few days I’ll have to make use of it I think.. Blech. I've tried to stay on top of studio humidity, even if the AC is set at 78 or higher it sometimes goes on just to help with humidity.. stay tuned for when July arrives and that's not working out so well for me and painting becomes a 'winter only' activity! ha!
BUT on a bright note about the (gorgeous outside at least) weather – here are some flowers (pictures at last!) that seem to be coming along quite well (not dying yet in other words). :)
That's just a few but my friends up north were asking about em! :)
Up next tonight is the first of the veggies into the garden my man tilled. They've been soaking now in those 'green' pots what become fertilizer when put in (well you know what that means they're made of - cow patty pots I've heard one company calls em).. Anyhow, he went all around and created “pine straw” mulch beds to prevent weed growth. He tore out all old weeds, then laid down that black stuff (weed block sheets) ;) then neatly spread out pine straw. This is something they sell down here for 4.50 a bale. OR, you can walk anywhere and risk the bugs and have to sift a little harder and get it for free. He chose free.. but there are leaves here and there in it, easy enough to pick out when I lean over and pretend to be doing something with all these poor plants other than over or under watering them. ;) The dirt is really great right here though, the land was forest not too long ago and was cleared – the soil (well for a foot down) is nice and dark black rich stuff. Typically soil is wicked sandy around here. The irony of the fact that I’ve been making money off of moving horse manure for years and years now and suddenly have none to spread on my plants isn’t lost on me. Will have to make friends with someone who’d wouldn’t mind a little removal (I’m sure most wouldn’t mind but sadly not much more than a bucket is needed).. but at least there are many horses all around…
Speaking of – All the plastic (resin) horses are now unpacked and in their proper homes and I didn’t spy a single damaged item -> WHEW!
Was able to meet my new mail carrier today too. I’ve never done USPS pick ups (or UPS for that matter) but it’s really going to be necessary here. She didn’t bat an eye when I asked about it and said I might have up to say 7 medium sized packages sometimes (more would probably be worth a trip to the PO of course). She only has a smallish Jeep - we have at least the pickup bed we could put more into.. Anyhow, she’s quite friendly too – yay!
I met her because we needed to sign for this package;
WOOHOO thank you Heather!! (Desert Night Creations).
Oh, and on that note – I’m sure most of you know this but at higher temps I’ve just experienced the joy of sticky wax turning to smeary wax.. ha! And that Godiva is my personal 'cold cast' bronze for my own 'archive'. For once I'm able to display these here (and with tack, why not!) - not just occasionally at shows! :)
Ok, well it’s cooling down outside and I have to move around some more dirt now and transplant (torture) some more plants... Tomorrow might very well find me sculpting however – Yyyyyyyaaaaaaaaayyy!!!
PS to this - I forgot to mention that I'm pretty used to my place being a LOT hotter inside than outside.. my last place tended towards 10-15degrees hotter inside than outside in the sun. I had businesses below me that would put on their AC pretty strongly, and the AC units outside were below my windows, so on hot days the heat would be pushed up into my place. So being 5-10 degrees hotter than outside isn't so new at least. MAN would I love to have a half-ground submerged home or a nice brick one! Course then I suppose mold is an issue more? It's all a trade off. At least I'm familiar with this one AND now I have the option of working outside in the shade too. ;)
Well I am caught up on emails and communications now! :D
"High Speed" (satellite) internet was installed yesterday afternoon. I have made a quick attempt to upload a very large sized image (1.5MB) just to see if I could and it went in a very reasonable amount of time - yyaaaayyy!!! :D Installation yesterday was also done under cloudy skies with periodic drizzle and nary a hestitation there.. if I have to wait for the internet through a downpour now and then, well so be it I guess. I'll just try to be careful in how I do new sales so that I don't go offline due to weather or surpassing my daily allowed bandwidth (which is generous enough to be servicable).
I won't be looking at youtube funnies much anymore though I can tell ya! :D And on a more relavent to art note -sighs- I probably won't be surfing as hard for photos and videos either of horse colors or horse movements. As so many of my past posts have shown, I like to bookmark the largest and highest resolution versions of these but I'll need to be more selective and careful in my surfing now (there is a freeforall download period in the wee hours of the morning at least - and a file manager to set it automatically, but that doesn't work when you are looking for photos that say, show a horse's forelimb from a certain angle all crunched up tight in super high resolution.. so maybe I shall become either a really early riser or a very late night owl!). At any rate, it's a really good thing I insisted on keeping every scrap of reference material through all of this... there are several hundred pounds of horse literature stuffed in here with me! ;)
I'd love to upload some pictures here that were taken on my camera phone since I've gotten here but it'll be a bit before I can - I need to find my adapter card! Doh!! (packed carefullly - don't you love it when you pack something away carefully never to see it again?? Man I hope not!). The card these pics are on is made for a phone and is the size of my pinky nail (and holds insane amounts of pictures/videos/whatever).. only problem is that it's too tiny for my computer's slots - in fact it's like a contact lens, you don't want to drop it on the ground or you'll never find the dang thing again!;) Anyhow, I would just upload from my phone of course butas I said, no service. My new plan won't include internet probably... that's next week's project! :)
Well with that, I'll just post a pic I'd taken on a previous trip down, but we passed by again today soooo (is that cheating? lol! I just love these!).
Again, it's been wonderful so far - but tons to do. Today for instance we shopped around for appliances (and a few other essentials) and bought a fridge and a stove... now to get them installed. Every day a new big project it seems. I think tonight I might now get to unpacking some studio essentials as I'm absolutely chomping at the bit to get back into things!
I hope all is well out there, I have barely peeked around at what's going on with everyone else (miss that) :( At least now I think I have replied to everyone's email now so if you haven't heard back from me, well give me a hollar again at both emails to be sure.. artbymorgen@yahoo.com and morgen@one-horse.net
Typing this here to blogger since it will post 2x for me... We made the move to NC fine but barely stay connected for more than a minute. Requires a lot of patience to get even into yahoo email & I haven't been able to access my one-horse.net accts at all. Needed to let folks know in case someone is wondering- it's been 5days for that one. Typing on cell here in yard - old school cell like morse code(123stop pause 12stop). Good news installation Wed!
Just when I thought "well that was it for a while" in performance showing after this past weekend...
Honestly, this performance stuff is utterly terribly addicting! I know.. yet another wordy blog entry on this subject. No seriously! I just got a few more absolutely astounding pieces in the past few months that I was just itching to "use". I live for the day when I've got enough space to have little miniature scenes on shelves where I can admire these marvelously detailed little works of tack and such ALL the time. Sincerely. Right now shelf space is at a premium and painted/finished horses are tucked safely away anyhow. Meanwhile, I'm just still terribly obsessed with using it all ..every time a show is remotely close enough to go to.
I managed to drop the notion of the implausible trail bridge this time around. Instead, settling on being fool enough to try using two tacked up horses for one scene/entry. Despite taking 2x as long to set up I enjoyed it mightily. I look at them and envision this cute little couple out for a ride getting competitive and ultimately you know the gal wins. ;) The really goofy part is now I'm not at all concerned with placings and some of my favorite entries didn't get anything! So I sit there and whip it all together in the 5min we're alloted.. go "done!" (hands up woot!) and then all for what? Taking a picture for myself I guess? lol! Swear to god I wish I knew..
My big innovation for this one was making the disposable gloves for the roping riders. I took Saran Wrap, painted one side with gesso lightly. Used sticky wax on their hands and cut it out roughly to size, then sorta smooshed/tweezed it into place. Then I took a little light blue Sharpie and drew finger lines. It came off really easily too afterwards for the next class. I suppose another color glove could've been used but my references had white gloves so I figured that oughta work and I guess it did. :) Figured I'd at least share something that might help someone else here... a closeup of that;
Well anyhow, I thought this was my last show this year most likely. Until today. When I'd last looked at the NAMHSA shows by region section there was nothing within 5hrs of where I'll be in Reg 6 this time next month. (http://namhsa.org/membershowsbyregion.htm). Well SHOOT tho - NOW there's one with a MASSIVE and WILDLY exciting performance list just 2hrs from me there... You know I should go... I need to get out and meet new people and support these shows. I'm a big believer in supporting things locally leading to better things for all.
Sadly when I am performance showing I'm terrible company still. Which leads me to wonder if I shouldn't just try to attend solely to meet people and skip doing performance.. and the devil on my other shoulder says "are you kidding??!!". Uhmm hmmm yeah... BUT perhaps this time around I'll aim to be a little less 'go hog wild' doing it all.. doing only 4 or 5 classes.. Yeah.. No really though, I'm just a useless troll - and a real bore when I'm into this zone .. still.. I really TRIED this last show to keep my ears more open but I have a feeling I was clueless and antisocial as usual.
I did get the joke when Marisa kept telling me "they aren't running away Morgen". See I tend to hold my shirt pockets when I'm thinking because I tend to put things in them and thus well.. you get the picture. Marisa is good for telling it like it is - tx chica! I need to work on that one...!
I tried to be silly to keep myself from getting too to harried. The racing couple was sorta silly imo. Then my last entry (sans tack), well here's the documentation & they're my last pictures in the album;
(feel free to borrow that for your own documentation - pics are online under "Lorenzo the flying frenchman")
Well here are my various entries, sadly I have many many hasty blurry outtakes on the few other entries I remembered to try and photograph. I'm still doing the thing where I try to spot flaws after the fact for my own self-improvement (and I found many - I'm pretty critical of myself!); http://www.artbymorgen.com/galleries/AllEquines/album/
As for my super exciting new stuff that I just don't want to put away into storage for a year... The western saddle set you see there is by Kirsteen Haley.
The close up on the braided bridle is a swap I did for reining so I could use Heather Moreton-Abounader's amazing new work there! (She's "Desert Night Creations")
Then the cross country doll is by Jane Schneider (Glyn Haven Studios). I just love that her braid flies back like that!
The new sweater doll... this is by Anne (formerly St.Onge) Fields... I posted about it to FB -> I was showing my fiance these show pics here and he goes "HOW MANY OF THESE DOLLS DO YOU HAVE NOW!!" (hangs head in shame). Yay that he's paying attention but he's on to my silly addiction... he knows! -sighs- Anyhow, we were having a blast with this doll - Anne carefully added on 'back' to her so she's just little miss bodacious there! (And sits more firmly in the saddle which is the point although I put her into a half seat).
Last but not least was a trade I did to get the neato patriotic tack set by Lydia of A.L.E. Ranch (aleranch.com). The flag wasn't included but it was one of the first "props" I'd purchased with the hopes that someday I'd have a set to go along with it.
Well back to attending shows and any future plans.. I google mapped around to some other shows but the 2nd closest was the Chincotegue show which is 6hrs away.. so well, we'll see. I'm not trying to quit, but maybe just slooow down a little.. ;) It's been 6 shows since last August that I've SHOWN at. Normally prior to that I'd attend 3-4 a year and show a couple in the breed classes but primarily just visit and set up a little mini store (and mostly leave it unattended while I wander around and gab). But now that I suddenly made my own to keep and show.. ack!) However the New England shows just keep coming and coming - http://www.regionxnation.com/ - 9 of these are within 2hrs of me and the others are under 4 (more like 3hrs). We are spoiled in Region 10!... Maybe I can start helping to make more shows in the Carolinas. That would be a lot of fun - I've been wanting to host one myself but I'd probably need a partner who's a lot more organized than I am for it. Things to look forward to I guess. :)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnddd there's "sculpting" news here too. Many folks were intrigued (and they always freak out when I let them hold the original sculpture) by my new "Sport Pony"/"Morgan Cross" fellow. This is encouraging. My goal is to wrap up the painting while here because then when I get moved I'll be able to focus on this pony. Less stuff needed and dust/cleaning (wall painting/carpeting) etc can go on around me whereas for painting, that's a problem. This has been why I've done nothing sculpting wise for a month now and focused entirely on painting.
I won't even get into the fact that several people who've gotten their Iarets are out there making tack for them that intrigues me greatly! ;) I still am contemplating where to get appropriate classic sized dolls for a potential "teasing" set up for her (you know, introducing over a fence or wall?). Mmm.. things I don't need to worry about for a long time. Focus on the painting & sculptures, I know I know!
And with that, off to watch the only show I take the time to right now, LOST! Woohoo! :)
It’s a beautiful spring day (two days away from spring). And a lot is going on that is wonderful for me over here in lala land. ;) However I realized on my drive home from cleaning at the therapy barn that it’s also the day that would’ve been Mango’s 9th birthday. He was born in the wee hours of a very cold March 18th morning in 2001. It’s odd how we’re having record highs this year to remember that in that year it was heavy jacket and cold-breeze weather and the notion of grass was at least another month away.
Anyhow, I post this chapter in his life here today because I’d like to share a little bit about him & his personality in memory of him on this day.
In going through tack this past week I’ve been reminded a lot of his training. And was rather surprised to realize how similar and perfect he was undersaddle, from his first to his last ride.
When he was 3 he went to a trainer for 3 months to be backed. They taught him to carry a rider, steer off of leg and walk-transition to-canter. I was actually the first person to really sit a trot on him and I still giggle to remember his surprise the first time I posted (having had 2 western riders only to that point who’d sat through trot only as a transition gait of a few strides). Prior to my first ride on him I was just absolutely terrified before hand. Friends came with me, the trainer and everyone had gathered around to watch… I have it on tape I believe somewhere. They’d made the training process for youngsters very simple by following a rote pattern so the babies knew what was expected when, walk (like a drunken sailor) out to the wall from the center (stopping for the rider to mount was optional at first). Walk around a little ways and then next came kissing noises plus a little commotion on the rider’s part which meant to start cantering away. In all my experiences of riding fresh young (or sore old) horses, if there is going to be a problem, this is the time. And with Mango, canter was his easy preferred gait but occasionally the initial start up was filled with leaps and cavortings. Which is why I chose an outside trainer. I’m in the camp of letting a horse warm up at their naturally preferred/easiest gait. However I didn’t wish to be the first to piss him off when he disagreed under saddle the first time about something – he had mighty tantrums when he had them. I might win, I had with other horses, but he also had an excess of opinions too and was quite athletic to match me with. And as we age we just get tired of injuries and learn to leave it to the professionals sometimes, even if you have the same ‘tool kit’ so to speak.
Anyhow, I was quite nervous that he’d behave badly for me, over the trainers. Just on principal because I had always been the one in his life to do things that were more fun. Grooming, feeding etc. Even the training I had done wasn’t anything confrontational. I’d lain across him plenty, long lined, done lots before he went there to be backed but now I was going to get on and tell him to do something he might not want to. He turned to me for support and I just really didn’t want to let him down or worse, have to get into a pissing match the first time if he balked or had a tantrum. So I actually drank a triple-strength tension tamer tea that morning instead of coffee… They rode him first briefly, stopped in the center and he seemed all pleased that things were coming to an end fast today, he must’ve been very good, right? Then they went through the motions of getting ready to have me hop on. His first reaction was to raise his head in alarm and annoyance and he became the a caricature of thinking “WHAT –NO! I thought we were done!!”. However then his second reaction totally took all of my concerns away –> When he realized it was me about to hop on and he immediately lowered his head & perked his sourpuss ears back from being pinned & relaxed. From there on in every moment I had in the saddle with him was perfect. I have never felt safer on any horse ever. Even when he spooked or was scared.
I’ve retrained a lot of exciting horses. And I’ve always seemed to get the ones you just don’t want to ride regardless. Everyone goes “oh you have lots of experience” and throws the least fun horse at you. To this day I'm haven't ridden in years and don't "miss it" per say. I'd like to again, for the exercise.. but for me it's about working with a partner. And now people wonder why at 37 I’m sore as hell and torn to bits? Lol! And I’ve only had a few actual parting of ways from horses undersaddle (actual falls). 5 I think. Still, a horse can yank pretty hard on your shoulders in bucks and games. Still, with my young guy there he just never had me the least bit concerned about riding alone. Even after dark with spooking ring lights. After that first ride I knew he really liked the riding work and had inherited his parents’ great work ethic completely.
My first ride on Mango was just amazing. He picked up the canter easily (for most this would be considered a working canter or in western, a hand gallop but it was 3 beats– it was quite ground covering and fast – something like only 7 or 8 strides down each long side of the arena). I’ve never before or since ridden a horse who’s canter was so smooth. Even when he spooked at one point because someone flung open a door on the arena door and literally stuck their head out a couple strides ahead into his path down one side (perhaps he was quieter than most too?), he veered almost into the center of the ring and then went back to the wall (a shoulder fore movement), without breaking stride with just a little hip and shoulder steering from me. Just was so balanced as Thoroughbreds are. I’m not doing it justice with words. We simply synced under saddle. Turns, adjusting speed, it was all so easy I practically only had to think it from the get go.
They sent him home a month early (my wallet was very happy about this) because the head trainer felt they couldn’t do more than I could do with him at that age. Just ride him very forward and develop his muscles and turn in for the winter.
So that fall into the cold months I rode at home transitioning to English tack. Slowly bringing him along with side reins and by the end of fall he’d already started to develop some really nice muscle in front of the wither – in one photo he looked a little like a Spanish cross. As the days grew shorter we worked later into the evenings. One night the temp dropped about 15 degrees and the wind picked up, when I hopped up I realized how absolutely frigid it was and when I asked him to walk off he proceeded to give an extremely tense prancy passage across the arena. I think that was about the most naughty he ever got – he was always a horse with a super thin haircoat and he quite clearly saying he was definitely cold too so I said “hoe” rather than touch him with the reins and praised him for his prompt obedience and hopped down. On that vein I was also on a mission to get a good saddle fit, knowing full well that the mad amount of padding I needed to use wasn’t ideal at all. His shoulders were uneven and so I had been going through (no exaggeration) 12 different saddles in working with a saddle fitter. On the last day of trying those out it was snowing and the ground had gotten to firm to really ride.
The following spring I started up with the lunging/long lining. .Sitting on him in the end and walking around on a loose rein. He’d grown/leveled out more over the 4-5mo off he had. He’d been moving in some ways that concerned me when we started up training again so I took it super slow – there were no ‘goals’ for competing. He couldn’t seem to pick up one lead easily I’d noticed. And he’d slipped a # of times behind over the winter and a couple of times on the lunge. I won’t go into it more than that, I talk about it a tad in my former blog post when I’d overcome my denile and faced up to the fact that I wasn’t going to ride him anymore – essentially he’d hurt himself at 18mo old and had developed with crooked hips – his stay apparatus on his right hind failed on him when he didn’t step properly.
One extremely bad fall that spring put off all training plans for months – he was walking out of the barn, jumped a little about a cat that ran out from the shadows, and did a split behind. It was the ugliest fall I’ve ever seen a horse have – and (after a long time of laying on his belly like a dog with his legs out to the side) he stood up and wouldn’t put his leg down for about a half and hour. I really thought then and there that was the end of the line for him. Fortunately lots of banamine and a major colic that night later, he slowly seemed like he would have a fighting chance. LOTS of vet and chiropractic endeavors followed for the rest of spring and summer. Finally I made an appointment for him to have a bone scan at Fairfield Equine center. The WAY he fell that spring on the barn aisle and numeous other little issues led me to suspect there was something going on biomechanically with him. For example now and then (since he was 18mo there) there was a clicking in his hip (which turned out to be the ligaments across the stifle snapping and echoing up the bone so you heard it in the hip). There’s a lot of great things you can do to improve the stifle’s strength but combined with his crooked shoulders and a forefoot that was developing a very underslung heel, it all seemed related and a very focused approach to strengthen it all seemed necessary. So a hip bone scan and overall lameness workup at Fairfield was done.
He had a dreadful trailer ride for the 1hr over there. Leaned against the wall of the super-delux van I hired to bring him (they had video and told me all about it). Arrived soaked in sweat and dehydrated. Then they put him in this empty barn where a german woman freaked out on me and told me I couldn’t be in there due to the radiation (whereas another vet had said it was fine since no horses had been in it for weeks). Anyhow, I brought him his toys but he was utterly depressed all the same. They ran a bone scan, some astoundingly clear x-rays and a # of other tests.
I was working at Fox Ledge when I got the call that they wanted to ride him. I’ll never forget it and this is sorta key to my point here. Remember now that I’d only ridden him for 6 months, a full year ago. And he was this young TB, stalled for a full week now. So I’m doing the groom thing at Foxledge when the vet assigned to his case calls and says “hey so we’d like to ride him and we need your permission”. Me -> massive pause. “Uhmmm…” [and then I explain how little training he has to date]. The vet assures me they have “this guy” from Germany who rides all the babies in auctions and is very used to greenies. They also assure me that they just can’t tell what they need to know from just watching him on the lunge. Me.. uhmmmmmmmmm… “ok – well have fun with that” and I’m laughing trying to picture how this will go. Well apparently it went just great. The rider did all 3 gaits and tons of variations (posting on the wrong diagonal apparently was a big clue for the vets). Apparently his issues were also fascinating enough that the whole staff came out to watch on the bleachers and something silly like 5 vets all watched and weighed in on it. I have to say I really felt like I got my money’s worth from it all. And obviously I was very proud of my very good boy who tried so hard – they really had lots to say about his wonderful gaits and good attitude under saddle.
His final prognosis was guardedly optimistic about having a future under saddle, although they obviously hadn’t seen him fall. I guess I should mention too that we talked a lot about it and they felt from watching him go that warming up at the canter was absolutely how he should be ridden – at least I’d gotten that right. Lol! Of course sadly what they couldn’t necessarily have predicted was that he continued to grow uphill (growing along well into 6 years) which only served to put more weight behind on the weak stay apparatus that lay over crooked hips. Ultimately everyone (well the few) who saw how he fell felt the same as I did – no way would you get on such a horse. At least wobbler’s sort of give you that wobbly feeling before they fall. This was worse, just like a table with a bad leg that gets kicked under.
Anyways, all this is leading up to his last ride. He’d been home for several weeks now after his hip injection and was feeling great and moving wonderfully. Once again it was late fall/early winter. The ground was going to freeze the following day so I knew I had one last chance to ride that year – with very almost no preparation/work leading up to it. And he’d had one real ride in a full year.. and was only 4 and half.. and it was suddenly cold. Lol!
My good friend Lori who was a new boarder (first visit) came in and saw me standing there with my giant antsy wiggling around guy there and I’ll never forget her comment “you’re going to ride him???”. I don’t remember what in particular he did that looked so alarming but he really was being a bit of a handful. It didn’t concern me at all. I don’t know why or how you know these things when you have an animal partner you work with, but you just do. I don’t remember if Lori stayed or not. I probably lunged him first. Don’t remember. All I know is that when I did get on we walked (not like a drunken sailor anymore), purposefully out to the rail taking up contact nicely, and then immediately picked up a canter wonderfully to warm up. I hope I never forget that amazing feeling of just resuming where we’d left off and being thrilled to ride (in comparison with the horse’s I had been riding at Foxledge), such a wonderfully light and perfect zooommmm… I actually said “weeeee!!” laughing loudly. He really enjoyed work and gave it 110%. In picking up the harder lead’s canter in the other direction, he got the lead wrong, so I brought him onto a circle thinking I’d take a trot and then have the circle to help – but instead (being that he was going so strong and nicely in front of my leg), I decided to give a big cue for a lead change. Voila – first time I’d ever asked and smart smart horse that he was he ‘got it’ with no effort at all and settled nicely into the correct lead. I was so completely thrilled with him for being such a great and game sport about being asked to do so much, that after one lap on the harder lead I decided to call it a day then and there.
Whenever I got down I always made a big fuss over him and I know I made the biggest one that time. Of course at that point I had no idea it would be our last ride but well, it’s always important to seize the moment to praise as much as you can when it’s so well deserved. I’m so glad I did.
Since I put him down a year and a few months ago, I haven’t been able to say much more about our relationship. I can talk about “things” we’ve done and a little bit about how he turned to me for support and looked to me for guidance, which he did, a lot. This is about the most I can bring myself to go into in explaining how special he was to me. I hadn’t planned on keeping him when he was born. He grew on me so to speak. He was a hellion before he even came out (kicked hard if you put your hand on his mom’s belly). Came out bold and bratty – and since I was handling him and mom alone he needed the hands on halter training and all that asap. After 3 days alone of just imprint training I was honestly ready to put his “for sale” ad up for when he was weaned. What I did instead was write Allen Pogue (http://www.imagineahorse.com/ImagineCover/default.htm ) and discuss his relaxation/baby training stuff instead (the ball tapping thing was sorta key to him as a foal to prevent him from kicking and running, he just plain ole didn’t want to be touched at first unless he was sleepy or trying to ‘dominate’ you by climbing on you). Anyhow, it worked and it definitely made Mango tune into his thinking brain from the start. Gator and Mango were born the same year and it was fun to read/see where Allen went with Gator. Mind you I wasn’t trying to teach tricks, there were only a few that I taught him – mostly verbal things (‘head down’, ‘look away’ and ‘back up’ were big ones). I later looked into every aspect of training and found ones that worked for us and his rather unique personality. We had some bumps along the way. He was “ok” for other people. Most experienced horse people who handled him said he sorta seemed more focused on you than the average horse, but not in a good way. In that way where you have an animal watching you waiting to see if you’re a slouch and they can get away with stuff. One trainer friend of mine said he reminded her of a stallion the way he led, you had to keep your eye on him or he’d try something sneaky/subversive to see how you’d react. BUT, then again, with casual carefree oblivious people he would be just bland as toast. He knew they weren’t going to ask him to do something, and he never seemed ‘at the ready’ to challenge them. “Challenge” isn’t the right word – he liked to defy, but in really hammy ways. I don’t know how to describe it better, but he had a sense of humor and was eerily smart. Everyone remarked on it. He watched everyone and everything and really ‘was a character’ as people tended to say.
And of course he was the caricature “momma’s boy”. People called him a ‘nerd’ too – because he’d just try so ridiculously hard for me or turn to me to ‘save him’ (from raindrops, from the evil farrier man he disliked, anything of concern would have him call to me if he could see me). I wasn’t happy about that side of him – but over time he got a little more confident thank god. There’s a documentary where Reiner Klimke is reminiscing about Alderich and describing him as ‘being frightened of the people and flowers’ and called Allie a “woman’s horse”. I have to laugh because this is exactly how Mango was, constantly seeking human reassurance. But we could get in the zone so completely (workaholics that we were) that one time we actually rode right into the mounting block (plastic thing fortunately). He really was one of those types of partners – we were sooo well suited in that regard. I’m no longer interested in jumping as much and he would never would have made it over anything more scary than a cross rails. Oddly there were few horses he ever respected too. He wasn’t top-dog at first with some but in the end, I never came across a paddock pal for him that he didn’t bully. A ham and a chicken. So I named him after a sickly sweet fruit. Fitting. Lol! No no, he wasn’t a bad horse- but he wasn’t easy for some people or socially amongst his own kind. And again, like so many partners we come to cherish, at first I was completely underwhelmed by his bratty nature. There were plenty of times he formed opinions about things that sincerely made other people unbelievably frustrated too. Especially about vet and foot care work ups. Yet he loved the ‘tooth fairy’ dentist I got in the last few years there – he could float him without holding the lead, loose in a paddock. And once he figured out that the chiropractors (I used a few different ones) and massage people were not going to hurt him, he was reasonable for them (although suspicious – he did have a lot of body soreness). The natural hoof care trimmer I got in the end he loved too – so I’m glad I found one who took her time and allowed him to move around until he was comfortable & balanced to do those trims.
Anyhow, mostly his ‘bad side’ related to expecting pain or at least discomfort. Sadly in the end, whatever was happening to him physically with whatever it was - his asymmetry and his endocrine/liver/whatever else issues, bottom line was that he very clearly was constantly aching or in pain somewhere. His desire to convey his displeasure became a real nightmare. It started in fits and spurts that fall, at first seeming like a behavior issue solely because of how it manifested (new and outrageously rude/dangerous behavior)… then eventually it became pretty clear it was a physical or biochemical issue – no doubt about that in the end when he had stopped eating almost entirely. Unfortunately it was never clear where/how/why and that aspect definitely will always haunt me to some degree. His autopsy showed no ulcers what so ever. That floored me. Just given his behavior I rather expected them at least as a secondary side effect of being so stressed out for the past few months so much. I wonder sometimes if horses can suffer from things akin to fibromyalgia. I’m completely convinced animals have things like headaches – why on earth wouldn’t they? They have sinus issues (some do), and muscle tension issues and get dehydrated just like we do. Well at any rate, my time spent in the past year and a half has moved away from trying to guess what/why/how I possibly could have lost him to. If it wasn’t clear in autopsy what caused his woes, it certainly wouldn’t have been likely to be found with a 16.3hh gnashing and thrashing patient between me and any vet. All I do know is that in the end he’d stopped eating and spent his last few days highly distressed and miserable. In his final hours he was just delirious and didn’t seem to know where he was anymore. And with no solution and avenues to try left, it was the kindest thing to do.
It’s funny how we humans tend to assume that someone will die of this or that, when so many other things can come up out of the blue. I really thought I’d lose him to a fall and a ruptured organ at the soonest, or else in his teens due to arthritis from all the biomechanical issues. I’ve been meditating a lot on those sorts of things lately because these past few years I’ve lost a lot of people around me too. With these friends and family members there too I just don’t find myself capable of talking about “what they meant to me” very easily. I really hope I never have to speak at someone’s funeral because honestly, I would just not do anyone justice. I have so many stories I would love to share celebrating what various people and pets have brought to my life in joy. It’s all just so sappy though, lol! I can’t say them out loud. I would just crack up and cry – it would get ugly – lol! Anyways though, to the point about assuming someone will be around for a long time or even, a short one, it doesn’t matter really. I say just enjoy your time together and live in the moment and hopefully with few regrets. Don’t dwell on the trivial and make great memories.
I’ve finally started to sort through my horse-possessions as well as other items in preparation for selling off old tack and trinkets at a tag sale. I’d be somewhat unwilling to do so for the longest time, in the mentality of “this is all I have left of them”. Well that’s idiotic, I really could use the money and there is SO much of this junk that I can’t move for tripping over it all. And they aren’t what’s important about (in this case), those horses. The tack may have been part of the memories but it’s the characters that wore them that I cherish.
Anyhow, and on that note.. I leave you with a video that has Mango in it, but also has all the horses lost in 2009 by members of a BB that I’ve been on for over a decade now.. it was quite hard for me to pick out my favorite picture so I chose 2. However when I viewed it I found myself more impacted by HOW MANY people lost loved partners on that board (well it has thousands of members of course). Which cathartically only served to remind me to cherish the living and the making of memories more.
